Thursday, 22 May 2014

What to do when you are comparing yourself to others

Sometimes we compare ourselves with others and we don't like what we see in comparison. Most people's advice would be, just stop it.

However, when you are in the depths of comparing yourself to others, it isn't as easy as that. Often comparisons come from admiration and if your not careful it can quickly turn into jealously. Which if left to stew can turn into pure dislike and hate.

No one wants that kind of negativity and you certainly don't want that in your head.

So, what do you do when you are comparing yourself with others?

When I catch myself comparing myself to others I let it go through the motions and then try to figure out why I'm feeling the need to compare myself, a unique individual to another. We can't be the same as everyone else, for one that would be boring and two you are not giving yourself the space to discover your true self.

If you are constantly hiding behind some copycat persona, it is going to get old really quickly. So ask yourself this;

What has sparked this comparison, why is it making you feel so bad?
Is it their appearance? success? confidence, or "wonderful" relationship?
Many of the things we compare to, are things we can cultivate for ourselves, just in different ways. If you admire someones style for example, take that as inspiration and make it your own.

If someone is already looking successful in a vocation similar to your passions and dreams or you're just envious of something completely different, that seem unattainable. Acknowledge it and feel good for them, they are working hard to pursue their own dreams. There is no reason why you can't be doing the same. Whether it be fashion advice, beauty tips, fitness information or carer development. Ask them how they have got to where they are and perhaps you could apply those steps to your situation.

At the end of the day we only see what people want us to see. We cannot guess what is going on in the background and how hard they have worked to get to where they are. Or maybe they are struggling and you have no idea. You never know, they may be secretly comparing themselves to you. Focus on your "good bits" and work on the "bad bits".

You are you and their are them. And that is exactly how it should be.


  1. Very relevant to me today. Great advice. I need to start appreciating my good traits and not obsess over my flaws.

  2. Hello Helen. I wrote this after asking myself why I was getting upset when hearing someone else news. It was because I was comparing myself to someone else's progress and I realised that there was absolutely no need for it. I need to do my own thing and be happy for my friends imminent success! Let all work on our "good bits" x

  3. Great post! I find myself doing this all of the time and it's really something I want to work on. -Aisha

  4. I think that quite often we are our own harshest critic, and miss our good qualities that others see.