Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Project Pan: The Epiphany

The epiphany that I have had during my project pan is this:
I was buying a hell of a lot of make up because I was trying to hide the fact that I was so unhappy with myself. I was buying more and more when I just simply didn't need it. I was unhappy with my looks, unhappy with my weight and unhappy with myself in general. Make up was the escape, it is what I used as an instant fix.This is why I was buying so much make-up. To fill some kind of void.

There is something for everyone when it comes to makeup, that was is so great about it. I however became fixated on eyeshadow. I knew I could buy something that suited me and that would it "fit". Where, as if I brought clothes, I knew I would struggle to find something that suited me.

I still love makeup and always will. I just know now, that as I work through my stash, it won't get as big again and that I don't "need" multiples of the same thing. Make up can change how you can look for the day, you can play on a certain look for the night but it isn't going to change you into that person you may be trying to be. You can't fake that persona.
Now instead on copying loads of different looks, I tend to stick with a feline flick of eyeliner and a nice blusher. I still adore eyeshadow but I know now that realistically I'm only going to wear neutral shades. I think I found it hard to find a "signature look", for example I used to buy lipstick half knowing that I wouldn't wear them. They just don't work for me. I brought bright lip glosses all the time when really, I got the most use out of a light peach shade or a clear  lip balm.

Experimenting is fun and I'm sure I will still take a few risks in the future, at least I know now that I don't need it all to be happy. Just because I can buy red lipstick and purple eyeshadow, it doesn't make me Jessica Rabbit and I shouldn't get down when I can't replicate an exact look from a magazine. I'm now happy with what I can achieve.

The silly thing about buying all the makeup in the first place is that I rarely wear a complete full face of it any more and was always happy to go out bare faced. So I was simply buying it all out of fantasy. At least I'm now able to step out of the fantasy and deal with the reality.

The reality being that makeup should be used to create a more polished version of yourself, not to completely change the way you naturally are. Have fun with it, don't need it and always love yourself before you have put any on!


  1. I also noticed that I tend to buy too much when I feel sh*tty about myself. These days I don't feel it, so I'm good!

  2. This is a lovely post, Liz, your project is a really good idea! I'm doing the same kind of thing with clothing and life. I've found when I buy less, I start to appreciate what I have and make the most of it - have you found this with your project? Leanne x

    1. Hi Leanne, Yes, I am seeing a shift in my buying. I have been buying less clothe etc for a while. But it was my make up that I noticed was the problem. As I look for green options now online, that makes me stop before buying too much as I have more time to think, do I really need this..etc. I am able to limit my spending much easier then before!

  3. Hi Liz, great topic :) I've been noticing myself doing this lately—buying lots of makeup in general. Part of me attributes it to the fact that I've never been much of a makeup person, so discovering it has made me want to try everything! The other part of me attributes it to the fact that I've been having a rough time dealing with my food allergy diagnosis, so buying cosmetics has helped take my mind off of the medical stuff. I have been saying, for someone that doesn't wear a lot of makeup, I am starting to build up a bit of a stash (it isn't too excessive yet, but I don't want to get to that point either). I definitely relate to the sentiment in this post. I think I am going to keep what I know I will wear, and start handing out some of my extras to friends and family :)

  4. Great Post, I too went through a stage of buying alot of makeup because I thought I needed it, when in reality all it did was sit there and collect dust. I agree with you that using makeup to create a more polished version of yourself is the best way.x

  5. Hi :) I'm here thanks to Annie introducing us on Twitter. (I blog at My Zero Waste) I love this post; it's a timely reminder for all of us to look at those things we crave or hoard and ask ourselves what it is we're really trying to create or what emotion we are trying to fulfil. It's not straight forward because it's so much easier to go out and buy something new! But if we can stop for just a moment of awareness then even MORE epiphanies start dropping in!
    I'd love to read a post on this in six months time to see where you are at.
    Good luck gorgeous you! x

  6. This is a fantastic post! I've recently had a similar epiphany about my constant purchases of makeup. It's become excessive. Really, it's simply too much! I was stifled by a bad relationship and was not able to figure out a way of branching out. I bought my first makeup palette after that relationship was over. I felt a special type of happiness that was, up until that point, unusual to me. I tend to want to buy when I'm feeling down on myself to find that happy feeling again when it starts to fade.