Thursday, 11 September 2014

Try not to compare


After spending an evening with some great friends, who happened to also be paired up in a couple. It got me thinking.

Why?

Because I was comparing how I behave in public with my boyfriend, to how my friend acts with their boyfriend.

Public displays of Affection.

PDA is not really for me, a quick kiss or a hug is fine but I'm not one to sit with my arm around someone or look into their eyes for ages etc. I'm not hating on it, it doesn't feel natural for me.

However,

It's that little niggle in your head, the comparison that gets you. You are completely fine in your habits but once you see how others behave or how they seem much happier than you. You fear that maybe they are better, their relationship or life must be better than yours. What they are doing is better.

STOP with the comparisons it's only going to lead to depressing thoughts. Instead put everything into perspective. Yes they look happy and that is lovely. However (using PDA as an example) I don't need to be like that to know that I am happy in my relationship. The snap shot you see of someone's life doesn't mean that everything is perfect.

If you see someone else and start to compare.Whether it be life choices, jobs, relationships, houses, how can you ever be content with what you have got. How can you ever move on and develop your own sense of happiness and wellbeing, when you are so consumed with what someone else is doing.

Focus on the positive. Dive in and soak up what you can do with your own life. Within your own means.

Encourage others in what they are doing and keep yourself busy with what ever pleases you and what benefits you.  Don't even compare it with how you use to be in the past.

Focus on now. Who are you right now. Where are you right now. What can you do right now.

Don't compare it, Be it. This is you. This is your life. Make is yours. Compare it to no one else.

Own it.

8 comments:

  1. Ahh I love this. I'm single right now, but I was exactly the same with PDA.
    I think it took my ex a while to 'get' that I wasn't so much into the kissing in public thing- I think they felt maybe I was a little ashamed which really made me sad, I couldn't have been happier, I just didn't need to express it to the general public by sloppy kisses and mid-aisle hugs!

    Laura | elelibee

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    1. It' hard when other people have expectations that don't meet with your comfort levels. I've had that before as well. Thanks for stopping by Laura! x

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  2. I love reading this kind of post! Your writing is so nice to read. I totally agree with you and the PDA is a really god example - it's easy to wonder how others can be comfortable doing certain things, but then again we all probably have confidence in different areas that others would admire!
    lily x
    www.jolihouse,com

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    1. Thank you Lily. I agree we all have confidence in other areas. There is no need to compare or create competition x

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  3. Love this, it came at exactly the right time for me as I've been giving myself a hard time during my times. Always easy to compare to other smarter, better students as it were. But what you're saying is completely true. All you can do is be the best version of yourself, not someone else's version but too often it's easy to compare yourself to your neighbour. Thanks for this reminder! Happy weekend love! Xx

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    1. Exactly Nic, we are only able to do out best and that is enough. I also need to remind myself of this. It's partly why I started writing. x

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  4. Couldn't have said it any better. It's so easy nowadays to be caught up in compairng our lives to others, especially with blogging and other social media. I am trying to focus on now, me, and go with my flow, not any others. Thanks for the inspiration!

    http://mindfullyaudrina.blogspot.com/

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    1. I'm so glad it inspired you and thank you for connecting! I will be checking out your blog soon x

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