Monday, 20 October 2014

I had been keeping it a secret

(It's not anymore!)

I had been keeping it a secret.
When I started this blog in January of this year, I had decided that I would only let a select few people know what I was doing. People that I knew would not judge me. As I have continued to write throughout the year a few other people I know have found out about wellmeaningbeing organically and some have even followed me through twitter.

I had chosen not to tell my family, for the reason being that it would give me full creative control over what I write. Without the risk of upsetting anyone or embarrassing myself.

You see I am actually very quite with my feelings. What I write on here has mostly happened in the past and I have taken time to reflect on it. There are things that I have chosen to publish that I have not really discussed with my family. Bad breakups, recovering from traumas, loosing friendships and just growing up. I'm not sure that they know me as a grown up, which is not their fault, because I am still learning who am myself.

This past weekend I chose to quietly mention it to my Dad. I did out of excitement and to see what he would say. I asked him to keep it quite and by mistake he shouted it out for a few other people to hear. I was embarrassed, I gave him a serious look, I was slightly upset.

Walking home I discussed with my boyfriend that I felt stupid for telling my Dad about my blog. But when thinking about the why, it turned out that it was not because I'm embarrassed on having a blog, far from it. Blogging and having a creative outlet has made 2014 a really happy year for me. I love to write and have forgotten that (excuse my big head) that I am good at it. Why had I given up this fantastic hobby?

Anyway, I was nervous and embarrassed to tell my Dad because I don't tend to discuss my hobbies and interests with my family in minute detail. I never find the time. However I have found the time through creating wellmeaningbeing to express myself freely. Freely because no one really knew about it.

Freely because I want to be true to myself and if I'm honest, I haven't been expressing myself truly in front of my parents for a long time.

I don't often mention that I love nutrition, I don't talk about my passion wellbeing or my fascination with relaxation techniques. I forgot to tell them that I'm more interested in green skincare etc. These things are important to me, however sometimes they get lost in conversation. I would rather, talk about mutually appreciated subjects rather than taking over whole conversations and make it about me.

Where as here, in this little place I call my internet home. I talk about whatever I want and am likely to find someone who wants to talk about it. I have made friends and found other creative outlets that I would not have found if I hadn't started a wellbeing blog called wellmeaningbeing.

So if my Dad (or anyone else) happens to find where I have been hiding, I will be proud that he can see what I have been doing and of what I have accomplished all on my own.
Because I think it's blooming fantastic!

12 comments:

  1. It's funny how somewhere as public as the internet can also be an almost private space for people to let loose their creativity and almost get lost in the crowd, I guess it's kind of hiding in plain sight sometimes. I hope your Dad and anyone else you knows takes the time to visit your little space and read your thoughts, reflections and words of wisdom. I hope they are proud of what you have accomplished and of the inspiration you bring to all of us who spend a little time with you in your corner of the internet (and we think what you have done is blooming fantastic too!) xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, thank you Annie! I'm glad you like hanging out with me over here! lots of love! x

      Delete
  2. I can relate. I also haven't told my friends and family about my blogging. However, recently I decided to send them an e-mail about it. I feel my parents deserve to know about this if it becomes more than a hobby, which it seems to be already. In a way, keeping it secret made it feel more personal to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have not told a lot of people and I think I will keep it that way unless it comes up in a direct conversation. I'm glad to hear that it's becoming more than a hobby, good luck for the future! x

      Delete
  3. Good for you! It took me a while to tell any real life people about my blog too. It's a funny thing though - I still have (less close) friends who don't know about it, but then I find myself mentioning it to people I've just met. Like it makes sense to present blogging as part of who I am now, but it's much more difficult to add it in for someone who already has an idea built up of who I am. Does that make sense? Haha :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Caitie, I have been doing the same. I've not been announcing it to everyone but if I have the chance (with new people) I tell them I write a blog. I haven't told many people the name of it but its good to let people know how you like to spend your time. I completely understand where you are coming from and you make all the sense! lol x

      Delete
  4. I do my "coming out" a couple month ago (my blog have 2 years now) and not everyone know.. It's my space to express myself .. I don't want to tell at everyone... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad I let him know but as you say it is our space to express ourselves. I think that if they want to find it they will, if they had similar interests and enjoy that's great. However I started wellmeaningbeing because my friends and family don't tend to talk about what I am interested in. Voila! know I'm talking to you about instead! x

      Delete
  5. First thing that came through my mind after reading your post was "Omg, my dad is like yours!" He knows that I blog, and since knowing about it, he's been telling everyone what I do lol. Almost none of my friends know about my blogging activities because they're not into anything linked to green beauty and wellness. I do feel sometimes I'm leading a double life haha. The biggest reward blogging has given me was the possibility to connect and meet some wonderful people, like you and the rest of the green blogsophere. You certainly should be proud of yourself. While I don't comment as much as I would on your amazing blog, I do read your insightful articles and enjoy them a lot :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love your blog. I completely understand where you are coming from. Very few of my close family and friends know about mine. Strange that something so public is my little bit of space x

    ReplyDelete
  7. I really struggled with the 'embarassment' of having people reading my blog to start off with. I am a corporate lawyer so was super worried about what my colleagues would say but as I was not posting anon I felt the best way was to send it to them and say Right this is what I am doing now so deal with it. I loved your blog post. Can relate to it so well x

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good for you, love! I can totally relate! I still haven't told any of my friends or family about my blog! Apart from my mum, brother and boyfriend as I know that they are going to be supportive. I'm not really the person that cares what others think but if my friends would find out about my blog and start making fun of it, it would make me really upset - that's why I haven't told anyone yet - "just in case". Happy for you though!!

    http://its-sarra.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete