Thursday, 2 October 2014

You are only inferior if you think you are


Throughout my life I have struggled on and off with the feeling that I am inferior to everyone else.

This problem is two fold: I let people make me feel that way or I make myself feel that way.

It's not pleasant to pick at yourself and find problems.

I'm growing in confidence small step by small step, but it wasn't always like that.

At uni , I was surrounded by new people from different backgrounds. For the first time I was made fun of for my accent, for that I was from a southern university town but was not rich or from a private school etc.

One guy in particular thought he was the bees knees, he was from money and loved to show it.


Money does not buy you class. Manners cost you nothing.


However,

This guy would parade his fistfuls of cash, he would talk about posh nights out and then pick at you, asking what you had done, where you have been or what you can't afford.

I had and always have thought him to be an idiot, at 19 it frustrated me that he was getting to me so much. I was letting him get me down.

Now on reflection. This guys was actually very insecure and used his wealth as his mask, his protection. No matter that it alienated people.

If I could go back, I would tell myself to not endulge that guy with conversations that were undoubteddly going to end up devauling myself and those around me. I would tell myself that I am the reason that I felt belittled and down, I was letting it conclude that way.

Now I try to be polite but I put more effort into to the conversation and with quiet strength I feel reassured that I'm not inferior to anyone.

Neither are you.


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