Tuesday, 24 March 2015

The Facebook Purge

I am old enough to remember a time before the internet. Before it became a worldwide, every day, common occurrence. I was about 13 when "the internet" arrived in my school library. I remember the frenzy of me and classmates trying the think if the coolest Hotmail account names and that was the start. The beginning of being available online, to be contacted and connected non stop.

I remember bandwidth, long beeping dial tones and msn messenger. This was all before I had even gotten my hands on first mobile phone. I finally did at sixteen. By today's standards, it was not high tech but back then it was AMAZING. I could play snake and text to hearts delight (until my £10 credit ran out) on my petite (sexy in my teen eyes) cherry red Nokia. It was the same phone Drew Barrymore used in Charlie's Angels, 16 year old me loved that.

Anyway. Fast forward to today. I'm hurrying towards my 29th birthday and looking at my "friends" list on Facebook.


A crowded collection of people who I have met during my university years and beyond. Some I still talk to. Others not so much. Even more so, there were people I was still "internet linked" to that for what ever reason, I don't even like. harsh...but  at least honest!

I could see people online who had hurt me, I was "friends" my boyfriends exes, I was still "attached" friends who ended up being not such good friends. And individuals who you just drift from as part of personal growth. It turns out that as you grow and move forward,  there may not be anything in common with these people and they don't bring anything good into your life.

Why was I still attached to keeping these people on my facebook? A few years ago I had a massive purge. But I had still let some people remain. So I spent some time editing my friend list. I removed anyone who I hadn't had a connection with for a very long time/ never did or I just added them through university polite protocol.

As I was clicking away I realised that I wanted this space to be positive, to be filled with people who support me and who I care about. By care, I mean I want my facebook to be filled with the face of people who I actually have real life connections with, not just online ones.

I don't want 500 acquaintances. I want to have a group of people that I can stay in contact with, who I know like me, for me and will collectively create a space of fun and positivity.

I want a space where I know I can share my interests and goals and not feel worried about being judged.

So after clicking away, my younger sister could not understand why I wanted to have less friends, less connections. She is of a generation that doesn't know life without the fast connections of virtual reality. She enjoys having over 800 friends on facebook and that's fine. Everyone is different.

I want quality over quantity. I want to know each person that I am connected to on facebook. It differs to twitter or bloglovin because I choose to use it as my personal space. I want it minimal, cultivated and calm.

To be able to enjoy what others are sharing with me.

 Always remember, you don't have to go along with what is the norm. If is isn't suiting your lifestyle or making you happy. You can change it. You always have control.

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

F**k Expectations

 Part of my blogging hiatus has been due the fact that, I felt lost in trying to truely express myself, without offending anyone.

How dumb is that?

You can't keep everyone happy. So how about start by keeping yourself happy.

Obviously I am passionate about wellness.
I am also passionate about authenticity and if I am going to continue writing wellmeaningbeing. I feel I need to clear the air.

I have been editing myself some what.

I swear

Swearing does not configure with the pretty yoga pant wearing wellness stereotype that seems to be flying around.

There is no cookie cutter wellness package. There really is no one right way to create your own wellness.

Yes, sometimes swearing can cause negativity, when used wrongly. for example, I try not to call anyone a swear word these days. However, in day to day life, outside of work. I swear.

it is not for the shock factor
not in front of the kiddies!

I have found it hard to continue writing about wellness because I have felt that it may not appeal, if the odd swear word is involved.

But seriously. Fuck. That. SHIT!

I am a grown women heading towards her thirties. I'm not PG.

I'm interested in self care, meditation, crystal jewellery, healthy eating and a tangy G&T (not that I have had one for about 5 months) and of course so.much.more!
I love eating vegan, but I'm not vegan, I love a burger. A big fat juicy well made burger. I eat meat and that is okay, I'm not evil because of it. I have tried yoga and it's just not worked out for me. That doesn't mean I'm not spiritual or that I wont try yoga again.I eat my fair share of salads and sometimes add in a greasy chinese or a banging curry (I might feel rough afterwards, but its all about balance!).

I pursue a peaceful life, sometimes it doesn't work that way (the way I want it) and I can get angry (i stamp my foot a bit), I'm only human after all. I'm likely to get frustrated and express myself quite colourfully and then take a few deep breathes. Contemplate for a (small) while on why I'm angry and carry on with life. (perhaps abrupt, heart felt swearing helps me to not dwell on things for too long).

And I'm thinking, I cannot be the only one that feels like this.

I cannot be the only one who feels conflicted when faced with how wellness is portrayed online. For me an interest in wellness has come from raw (sometimes emotional) experiences and a passion to better myself. I'm not all sweetness and light. I'm not perfect in anyway. I don't have to like everything that everybody else seems to. I don't think you have to be just one thing/way at any one time. We are all different, with a few similar interests that join us together.

So from now on, in the effort to be authentic and staying true to myself, which in a nutshell is what self-wellness is all about. There WILL be some swearing, some honest, when needed, self expressed swearing. And I may even talk about sex, because hey, why stop at swearing!

Monday, 2 March 2015

Marathon Update: I ran 13 miles (with walk breaks)

The aches and pains I have today are constant reminders, that I tackled just over 13 miles yesterday. I did it in 3 hours, with regular walk breaks. Some regular, much more abled runners may scoff at that. But with hips that have aged before their time. I am happy with that .

After doing some marathon math, it also means that if I keep this up I will be able to complete the Virgin London Marathon 2015 in 6 hours and 30 minutes with (hopefully) not much of a problem.

I am not the competitive type so I cannot say that I am completing with myself to do better. Although I can tell that I am pushed on by the thought that, I am getting better. And, if I stay true to how I am, I will be able to achieve this goal. As long as I don't copy what anyone else is doing and stay within my own groove. I got this.

I think.

There will always be a bit of self doubt, but as each long run is completed, it shows that you can do it. It is hard, you may not be the fastest, you may not have the perfect technique but you can get there. If you want to, you can move yourself forward and reach the end goal.

It can be done.

I've been noticing how much happier I am after I have done some exercise. It must be all the endorphins! I wish that they were a tad more powerful to zap my hip pain away!

Thank you for the bottom of my heart for those of you who have donated. It means the world to have your support.

It's less than 8 weeks to go until Marathon Day.
That's still enough time to improve.
It is still enough time to believe.

I'm looking forward to it.