Wednesday, 18 March 2015

F**k Expectations


 Part of my blogging hiatus has been due the fact that, I felt lost in trying to truely express myself, without offending anyone.

How dumb is that?

You can't keep everyone happy. So how about start by keeping yourself happy.

Obviously I am passionate about wellness.
I am also passionate about authenticity and if I am going to continue writing wellmeaningbeing. I feel I need to clear the air.

I have been editing myself some what.

I swear
ALOT

Swearing does not configure with the pretty yoga pant wearing wellness stereotype that seems to be flying around.

There is no cookie cutter wellness package. There really is no one right way to create your own wellness.

Yes, sometimes swearing can cause negativity, when used wrongly. for example, I try not to call anyone a swear word these days. However, in day to day life, outside of work. I swear.

it is not for the shock factor
and
not in front of the kiddies!

I have found it hard to continue writing about wellness because I have felt that it may not appeal, if the odd swear word is involved.

But seriously. Fuck. That. SHIT!

I am a grown women heading towards her thirties. I'm not PG.

I'm interested in self care, meditation, crystal jewellery, healthy eating and a tangy G&T (not that I have had one for about 5 months) and of course so.much.more!
I love eating vegan, but I'm not vegan, I love a burger. A big fat juicy well made burger. I eat meat and that is okay, I'm not evil because of it. I have tried yoga and it's just not worked out for me. That doesn't mean I'm not spiritual or that I wont try yoga again.I eat my fair share of salads and sometimes add in a greasy chinese or a banging curry (I might feel rough afterwards, but its all about balance!).

I pursue a peaceful life, sometimes it doesn't work that way (the way I want it) and I can get angry (i stamp my foot a bit), I'm only human after all. I'm likely to get frustrated and express myself quite colourfully and then take a few deep breathes. Contemplate for a (small) while on why I'm angry and carry on with life. (perhaps abrupt, heart felt swearing helps me to not dwell on things for too long).

And I'm thinking, I cannot be the only one that feels like this.

I cannot be the only one who feels conflicted when faced with how wellness is portrayed online. For me an interest in wellness has come from raw (sometimes emotional) experiences and a passion to better myself. I'm not all sweetness and light. I'm not perfect in anyway. I don't have to like everything that everybody else seems to. I don't think you have to be just one thing/way at any one time. We are all different, with a few similar interests that join us together.

So from now on, in the effort to be authentic and staying true to myself, which in a nutshell is what self-wellness is all about. There WILL be some swearing, some honest, when needed, self expressed swearing. And I may even talk about sex, because hey, why stop at swearing!

21 comments:

  1. Totally love this and that this is you being your authentic self. Out with it girl! You've described me in parts as well so I can really relate to this post. Wellness has indeed become this polished thing, at least portrayed in social media and it's not altogether healthy when it doesn't take into account that we're not all that polished all of the time. Go have your burger and then your vegan. I think what matter is exactly what you say, what wellness is to you and only you. Sometimes we're better at it on Mondays than Fridays but hey, that's ok.

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    1. Thank you Nic! I just want to be honest with it all. If i'm going to write and this is my space, i have to continue with how i would normally speak. it's not going to be every post. It will still be the same, mostly.

      I love writing, i just need to find the right way to do it. Hopefully i will connect with more lie minded people, like yourself in the process!

      You are exactly right you might good on monday and not so much on friday. it's just about realising that it's okay when it happens! x

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  2. Something happened where I was typing but it wasn't showing! ;) anyway, I look forward to reading more of the unedited you and why stop at swearing indeed! Great post Liz! Xx

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  3. I totally agree that wellness is a personal thing! Trying to fit in with a prescribed idea of what wellness is when really you just aren't enjoying it goes against what it really is all about. I always have to remind myself, especially when browsing some instagrams, that it's only a snapshot and not the full picture. Also, a bit of swearing - when not directed at another person! - never hurt anyone so if you want to, do it! X

    A Blonde Moment

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    1. Hey Alexandra,
      You are completely right, it is just a snap shot. An ideal. I don't want to portray those kinds of expectations. That perhaps i was putting on myself, when i would feel much better just truly being myself and hope that who ever connects with me likes. If not, at least I have been honest to myself.
      xx

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  4. It always feel like people create this expectation and idealization of what you are and if you don't conform, they can't seem to understand why. We make first impressions in the blink of an eye, and often they remain unfaltering. But, it's ignorant and prejudice to see someone as fitting into a stereotype. Though, sometimes we also fall victim and can't help but want to meet these expectations. I think we've all struggled with that balance, of wanting to live up to someone else's expectations, while also trying to satisfy your own needs. I try not to let anyone else's opinions really influence my own, because in the end, we are the ones that give the words of others leverage in our lives. I really enjoy these posts and admire how candid you are in them.

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    1. Thank you so much, for such a lovely comment. You are totally right. Once we think we have to meet expectations sometimes we carry on with those expectations. Then when those actions aren't meeting our own needs, it is hard to get across that those expectations weren't yours in the first place. I hope that makes sense! All the best! x

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  5. The internet, the place where originality thrives but where it also come to die. I feel like every blogger says to stay true to yourself, but I definitely believe them more if they can show glimpses of their imperfections as well. Great post!

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    1. "The internet, the place where originality thrives but where it also come to die" what a poignant sentence. Thanks for all your support Danielle! x

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  6. Excellent post miss! I have to share it! :-) .x

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    1. Why, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

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  7. Oh Liz! No one should ever have to edit themselves - be who you are, own it and be free! Each and every single person in the world is different and no one, NO ONE is 'perfect'. Life is about balance so enjoy each moment. X

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    1. I don't tend to edit myself in "real life". I was just catching myself when writing some posts and thinking "i would say a swear word here, but maybe i should not actually write it". That continued for a bit and it just twigged that i wasn't being completely myself and that i can totally swear, be rude but also talk about my pursuit in wellness. I call myself wellmeaningbeing after all! x

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  8. Hey Liz, you should totally be commended for this one! I also agree with what Danielle says above – everyone says to be authentic, yet we can all end up stuck in what we think people want to see and hear.

    But sometimes the reactions don't help. I find I often get more feedback/interaction on a product review post than I do on a more open and opinion-based piece, which can be make stray back towards the 'safer' options.

    I will enjoy watching you become all the more you! :-) Xx

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    1. Hi Gem, thank you for your support in this post. I completely understand what you mean. Some times posts get no reaction, but then i think... i liked writing that and that's all that matters.

      I love ready beauty and skincare posts. I often try to write them but i prefer to write these kinds of posts. That doesn't mean that i should not include what ever else i fancy at the time. I hope you will continue writing more open posts!
      x

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  9. What can I say - totally agree on this! I think most people feel obligated to maintain clean language on their blogs/videos just so no one gets offended. Not sure if you're subscribed already, but Mercedes (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbZHSM9SRl7tPJShQwejxNA) swears in her videos some times and I LOVE IT.

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    1. Ru, you read my mind! i recently found her and I LOVE HER!
      x

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  10. Wonderful piece, Liz! No matter what, we can never please everyone, so we might as well just be ourselves. If some are being judgemental, then it's their problem, because judging people is an utter waste of time. xx
    ps. there's a study showing that swearing when you're feeling a physical pain, actually eases the pain. So swearing can be healthy ;-)

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    1. Thank you so much my internet twin! I will see if i can find that study! Even though i'm not at uni anymore, I'm still fascinated with social studies! x

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  11. Brilliant post Liz! I totally agree with you, online and the whole wellbeing thing sometimes it made to seem like "oh do some yoga and meditate and you'll be less stressed forever and everything will be fine and dandy" when in actual fact, it's not like that at all, and you can totally fucking swear on your blog ;) xx

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  12. This is your space- speak how you want to speak. Be you. Otherwise it won't feel right. I recently started blogging again and this time I'm just being me. I was trying too hard before. I wanted to become like the gazillion other beauty or lifestyle type bloggers there are around. Now I'm just me. I make stupid jokes, I'm a very expensive face cream sceptic, I ramble on. It's my patch and if people wanna read fine, if not well I'll just talk to myself. Been doing it my whole life anyway! :)

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