Tuesday, 24 March 2015

The Facebook Purge


I am old enough to remember a time before the internet. Before it became a worldwide, every day, common occurrence. I was about 13 when "the internet" arrived in my school library. I remember the frenzy of me and classmates trying the think if the coolest Hotmail account names and that was the start. The beginning of being available online, to be contacted and connected non stop.

I remember bandwidth, long beeping dial tones and msn messenger. This was all before I had even gotten my hands on first mobile phone. I finally did at sixteen. By today's standards, it was not high tech but back then it was AMAZING. I could play snake and text to hearts delight (until my £10 credit ran out) on my petite (sexy in my teen eyes) cherry red Nokia. It was the same phone Drew Barrymore used in Charlie's Angels, 16 year old me loved that.

Anyway. Fast forward to today. I'm hurrying towards my 29th birthday and looking at my "friends" list on Facebook.

FACEBOOK

A crowded collection of people who I have met during my university years and beyond. Some I still talk to. Others not so much. Even more so, there were people I was still "internet linked" to that for what ever reason, I don't even like. harsh...but  at least honest!

I could see people online who had hurt me, I was "friends" my boyfriends exes, I was still "attached" friends who ended up being not such good friends. And individuals who you just drift from as part of personal growth. It turns out that as you grow and move forward,  there may not be anything in common with these people and they don't bring anything good into your life.

Why was I still attached to keeping these people on my facebook? A few years ago I had a massive purge. But I had still let some people remain. So I spent some time editing my friend list. I removed anyone who I hadn't had a connection with for a very long time/ never did or I just added them through university polite protocol.

As I was clicking away I realised that I wanted this space to be positive, to be filled with people who support me and who I care about. By care, I mean I want my facebook to be filled with the face of people who I actually have real life connections with, not just online ones.

I don't want 500 acquaintances. I want to have a group of people that I can stay in contact with, who I know like me, for me and will collectively create a space of fun and positivity.

I want a space where I know I can share my interests and goals and not feel worried about being judged.

So after clicking away, my younger sister could not understand why I wanted to have less friends, less connections. She is of a generation that doesn't know life without the fast connections of virtual reality. She enjoys having over 800 friends on facebook and that's fine. Everyone is different.

I want quality over quantity. I want to know each person that I am connected to on facebook. It differs to twitter or bloglovin because I choose to use it as my personal space. I want it minimal, cultivated and calm.

To be able to enjoy what others are sharing with me.

 Always remember, you don't have to go along with what is the norm. If is isn't suiting your lifestyle or making you happy. You can change it. You always have control.

10 comments:

  1. What a wonderful explanation of what I have been feeling lately about Facebook. I recently found a new social media outlet MeWe. I am in love with the positive people I have found there. Excellent post!

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    1. Hello Christina, thanks for stopping by! I have never heard of MeWe but in my efforts to de clutter. I will have to give it a miss for the time being! x

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  2. For the past year or so I've just been slowly going through and deleting every unnecessary person, every "liked" page as their notification popped up and I have to say it has been a very cathartic process. Plus the less people that pop up on my newsfeed also means less time wasted scrolling through it.

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    1. I often have a few deleting moment over recent months. However I was much more productive when I sat down and really considered each connection. A friend once said, if you cannot be bothered to wish someone happy birthday on their facebook, what are they doing on yours! so. profound! So TRUE!

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  3. I love this - I have a rule... If I wouldn't tell, text, email or phone that person the news that I put on Facebook then they shouldn't be my 'friend' I try to keep it to under 50 people as well as that is the number I am happy with, especially as I share information about Maddie and where I live, when I'm on holiday, etc.
    Rach xx

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    1. Mine is a bit more than 50 but I feel better for doing it and am still going through it even after purging. I've noticed that my feed is a lot less negative and had it's been a great outcome! I think 100 would be good. They say you can only ever maintain about 150 "people connections" at any one time. x

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  4. I've gone one step further and closed my personal Facebook account! I do still have one for my blog, but that's all I use it for....so much time is wasted looking at what other people are up to. I have 3 teenagers, who, like your sister, don't really know a life without FB etc. I feel sorry for them at times...x

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  5. Great post, can totally relate. I deleted a couple of hundred "friends" and no one could understand why. These days I really dislike FB and rarely use it. It's reached a point where 5 mins on FB leaves me feeling bad about my life/myself - what's the point?

    http://ambermeansgo.blogspot.ie

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  6. Great post, can totally relate. I deleted a couple of hundred "friends" and no one could understand why. These days I really dislike FB and rarely use it. It's reached a point where 5 mins on FB leaves me feeling bad about my life/myself - what's the point?

    http://ambermeansgo.blogspot.ie

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  7. I now have 35 friends on Facebook. This time last year I had about 100 more than that. I just couldn't take it any more. Too much worrying about what people thought when I posted, or being envious of other people seemingly perfect lives. I just wanted to use it to chat with family and post pictures of my cat (ha).
    I now just see stuff from people I care a lot about and who I know really care about me. It's much more peaceful.

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