Tuesday, 29 September 2015

Radiotherapy / The Final Countdown

On Wednesday the 30th of September 2015, at 5pm-ish, I will have finished my radiotherapy treatment. This will mark the end of my active treatment for Breast Cancer.

It's been a long month.

I chose to work throughout the month and have been having radiotherapy sessions after work. The long days combined with treatment, has led me to be extremely fatigued and having little time to really rest.

I didn't really think about the fact that I may have gone back to work very quickly. Two weeks after my operation, I was back at my desk and if I'm honest I felt quite lost. I was still recovering. Thankfully, I was allowed to take it slow and easy.

Because of that, I at least had a week and a half of just being back at work and getting back into the work routine until the daily trips to the hospital began. Except for the first session, where my mother held my hand so to speak. I have taken myself to each and every one of my radiotherapy sessions. It's been something that I have done for the most part, on my own. It has been the only part of this cancer treatment process where I have gone myself, been by myself and just was myself. Just a single figure waiting in the reception for their treatment.

Being on your own makes it blindingly obvious when people are looking at you. I stick out most days. I was on my own, in my work wear and at least 20 -30 years younger than anyone else in the waiting area. You could sometimes see the struggle on the strangers faces, whilst they try to work out why I'm there. until the answer is literally shouted out when the  Nurse calls my name.

Yes, ladies and gents, I'm having radiotherapy too.

It's not all bad.

Sometimes, you get a hello from a familiar face. Perhaps you get an all knowing smile thrown your way as you pass paths on your way to the radiotherapy room.

Because really, no matter what our age, gender or reason.

We have all been brought here for the same cause. We have all be fighting the same fight.

So I sit down and offer a smile to anyone who looks my way. I read my book and wait my turn.

I wait for my name to be called.

I'm waiting for my name to called for the last time.

It will be glorious.

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