Friday, 13 November 2015

Making A Moment of Calm

Creating time for a moment of calm has been so vital for me at the moment.
Because, I'm not going to lie there have times recently that have been irate, scary and just down right draining! By taking a step back and being in the moment, you can gain some control back. Just taking some time to be with yourself. To catch your breathe and help you move on with your day. Is essential.

Even if it's just for a few minutes before you get out of bed. Perhaps it's a few deeps breathes to quieten a rushed lunch break. Or maybe you have the luxury of creating some time one evening to truly switch off and relax. What ever time you have, make sure you make time to unwind.

It is easy to let the world pile up on your shoulders. The weight of your worries, daily chores and the everyday grind can make you forget that you are in charge of how you feel. You can always give yourself some space, some time to loosen up and lift the weight off yourself. Self care, in my eyes, is like self preservation. You have to make yourself stop sometimes and just. be. calm.
My favourite time to enjoy the stillness of a serene moment of calm is on Sunday Mornings. Sunday morning is like a clash of the beginning and the end of a week. The slow start to Sunday's, even if I get up early, means that I don't feel rushed by the day. I'm in control, I have given myself time to move through the morning with ease.

The feeling of calm vibrates through me, as I sip on my warm cup of tea and sit with my thoughts, whilst deciding what to eat for breakfast. I then take the time to pamper myself with my skincare routine. Sometimes I want to wear makeup and other times I don't. Is this going to be day for chores or box set viewing? Who cares? These are moments of calm that I can create for myself, help me to engineer my day to be a good one. I've laid the foundation for a good vibes. And if successful, those good vibes and calm thoughts go on to create a happy week. I do make sure I take a time out for some calm and relaxation through out week, but Sunday is like my reset button.

Sunday mornings are my moments of calm....when's yours?

Tuesday, 10 November 2015

move through the fear to create the change

With all that has been going on, one thing has remained the same.

The need for change. It burned bright deep down inside me. It kept me going, it kept my motivation moving, churning, propelling me forward. I didn't want to stop, I didn't want the thought of cancer stop me from living. So, even though I was tired, I went to work. I worked because I like working, I like doing something with my day.

But the one thing remained the same.

I longed for changed.

So throughout treatment, I promised myself, that if I could make it through the past 4 months and still go to work between the hospital appointments. Still be at my desk by 8am most days and work to the best of my abilities.

I would allow change.

And change scars me.

But if not now, when?

If I don't make a change now, when will the change happen?

I am using the fear of the unknown to move forward.

So two days after I finished active treatment, I handed my notice in. I was honest and open with my boss and he fully appreciated where I was coming from. He asked me to come back to him a week later with what I wanted to do ( to try and make me stay) but I was firm and strong in my decision.

So now we have a plan, I will help find and train my replacement, then once that the hand over is complete, I will be on my way. I don't actually know what is next for me. But that is as exciting as it is scary.

For four years I have known one thing. And before the cancer shit storm, I had hoped that 2015 would be the year I would pursue a career.  A time to invite change. It is time to dust myself off and get myself back in the ring of life. 2015 can end and 2016 will begin with me moving forward positively.

It's time to branch out and try something new, because;

A Change is as good as a rest.

And fear is just a challenge waiting to be conquered.

This is my time

I'm ready.

(this was originally written on the 03/10/15)